Probably around the time I was in 7th or 8th grade like in 2001 or 2002 or so. I'd come to a slightly different realization (or the same realization but worded differently) roughly once a year and then probably tell people about it like my older brother who'd respond with things like "I remember when I used to think of things like that" or have internet people tell me "boohoo woe is me, cry me a river. How old are you? You're just going through a phase." Then I'd brush it off and move on to the next year in life thinking that there was something missing to the "puzzle"–that there was something from earlier in childhood that I'd long forgotten about, that I needed to go back to the drawing board and start from square one or whatever. Year after year would roll on by and I'd tell myself, "no. That can't be it. There has to be more to it." Two decades, three.
"That was it. I really had it figured out, didn't I?"