/dep/ - Depression

I also hate any games. Such a childish way to pass the time. Your character dies and then he comes back again and you start that shit again and keep repeating it.
I don't know how can people find satisfaction in games. Games are so boring.

Right now I'm lying in bed writing this and feeling nauseous and physically ill. Life is such a curse. If I had a gun I'd put a bullet in my brain right now and I hope there's no afterlife. I want to sleep forever.

Try getting a job and going outside. The wizardly life isn't for everyone and some people just can't be content with consuming media and cultivating their inner worlds. You can't live contrary to your nature. Your boredom will be cured once you're out in the real world, competing socially with other people, gaining status and ugh, I hold back my disgust but - having sex, possibly even fathering children.

>>271715
>>271716
>>271717
I relate.
Everyday I do what I'm supposed to do, (begrudgingly) wake up early, shower, eat, go to work, come back… read a little, sometimes… meditate, three times a week… run.
Everyday I sleep on time, no real reason to justify staying awake until late.
When the desire to listen to music arises I listen to classical music, Eighteen months ago or so I threw away more then fifteen years of music, CDs included, in total two thousand and five hundred songs or so, all of them hand picked.
Sometimes I get so annoyed at listen to the voice of people that I can't even stand to watch a tutorial.
I no longer watch movies, no games of any king, no friends, no pets, no girlfriend, no flirtation.
The written word shall suffice.
I see life as dull and unwanted, that was growing for a while, but now it has become all too apparent.
Blend and illusory.
My only true wish is that it would stop; but even wishing that is not worth it, naturally soon it will stop, and that too shall become blend and illusory.

>>271715
You should do something tangible, something that doesn't evaporate after its done
it can be anything

life is a horrible torture session that you are for some reason supposed to endure. pain and boredom being the capital evils, there is endless different flavors to sorrow. disappointment, jealousy, humiliation, guilt, fear. why? for absolutely no reason at all.

>>271715

I feel the exact same.
You're 25, so things may change for you. I'm 30, and I think I'm going to gas myself. I can't enjoy anything anymore. Actually I think I've made my mind already, I just want to put a nice song while I fall asleep.
I've always thought about No Surprises by Radiohead but, it's so sad. I don't want to leave in sadness, I want to leave in peace. Maybe a merrier song?
I've been on a journey to make peace with everyone and everything, I want to leave in peace. I want it to be nice and cozy.

>>271717
i love this quote

>>271716
I don't understand how someone can choose to swear by and consume nothing but japanese media for the rest of their life.

>>271788
does it bother you that there are many people out there virgins included that are capable of enjoying something that you are not?
i advise you to stop taking yourself so seriously, maybe then you'd have a chance at being able to indulge these "childish" forms of entertainment as well

>>271789
More often than not I'm the one who bothers them for having the wrong taste or simply for being indifferent to the things they like. Weebs are some of the most unpleasant, narrow minded, cult-like people I've been around online.

Wouldn't you believe it? I can watch childish anime and still be critical of weebs and their normalfag-tier group mentality.

>>271790
damn, you really showed those weebs you interacted with on discord who's boss huh? what a tough guy you are

>>271800
A weeb crying to me that all taste is equal is the damnedest fucking thing

Ive found that over the past few years that just forcing myself to do things, without having any kind of expectation is the only way to get rid of the feeling of anhedonia/lack of interest. It takes a while to actually start enjoying the activty again though.

A day comes when there's nothing left to say, think, feel or do. The cycle becomes apparent, unbearable. Everything appears to you exactly as it is; completely empty. Then it's time to sit and just that. It's time to gaze at a wall and just that.

I've been reading The Book Of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa lately and he talks a lot about tedium in his book. It's very releable.

>>271726
Read graphic novels

>>271950
That book is a balm to my soul

I have the same issue. I have schizoaffective also but I experience intense ennui/boredom without a significant amount of caffeine. Sometimes is unbearable monotonous tedium with the same vain and pointless thoughts repeated over and over. When I'm able to get caffeine I have intense interest in reading philosophy while listening to music but the other time I'm either anxious, paranoid, psychotic, scared, or depressed. Existing is agony.