/dep/ - Depression

Speaking from my likewise limited experience, I think getting a skill, or getting good at something, is the only way. Confidence is a meme in so far as your typical "le fake it till you make" retard platitude is ineffective; you probably aren't going to be able to convincingly lie to yourself for extended periods unlike the average normalfag who has support structures and cute little experiences they can use as buffers to their delusions; the average wizneet has none.

If you're sick of feeling inferior and despondent, and it's really getting you down, you're unfortunately going to have to do something to try to remedy that. A common take is that you need to feel good, or comfortable, before you do something, but it's actually the opposite, you'll probably have to do something before your reptile lizard brain fleshcage will let you (maybe) feel good. Waiting around and being mindful probably isn't going to work, but if you notice yourself improving at something that you find worthwhile, you're going to feel good.

The hard part is finding something that actually interests you enough for you to want to get good at it. I was lucky in that after going to some job training course for unemployed people, I got a little job there doing graphic design. I didn't care at all for that stuff until the job forced me to take an interest, and I still think it's a bit dumb, but now it's something I can work on, get better at, see generative improvements, and (sometimes) feel good about. I also do drawing, I just started and I'm garbage, but when these pursuits are going well, I feel competent and good about myself, and there's much less space for self-pity. The caveat to this is, because of the lack of those support structures I talked about earlier, you're probably going to tie your entire self-worth to whatever you decide to do. So when it's going well, great, when it's going bad (which it absolutely will when learning something new) you're going to feel awful. The silver lining is you'll have much more time in your day to work on that skill where the normalfag wouldn't, and like an anime protag, it's you vs the world, which is kind of motivating.

I'm not advocating wageslavery but getting a job is probably the easiest shortcut to this, you're forced to be somewhere and do something, and that'll necessitate getting better at whatever that thing is, and you might even have peers treat you like a person (though they might treat you like shit too)Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

The best cure for self pity is perspective. For me watching lots of hours of gore footage made me permanently grateful. Expectation is the source of most all suffering.

>>278073
mid 20s

>>278076
That's why I like it. Optimistic people are annoying

People with children actually discust me nowadays. Not all of them, mind you. I've met some good parents, but they're a minority. Most are absolute shit, they just create life with 0 thought, then make it everyone elses problem. I look down on most people who have kids the same way as animals. I don't care how edgy it sounds. I keep seeing it over and over again, people pop out babies and then put 0 effort into actually creating a good life for their offspring, properly educating them or even spending time with them. It sickens me.

>>278080
I have zero patience for people that have kids and then whine about how hard it is to be a parent. I also have zero patience for people that get a career and always complain about being busy all the time.

Like nigger, you actively chose this lifestyle? Get the fuck out of here. It's just a humblebrag too, because people equate being busy and stressed with being important.

>>278080
Poor people or even most of middle class really shouldn't breed. Only who can give their children a good life and are well off to support their offsprings, even when they are losers and Neeta, should be allowed to have kids.

Retirement is a thing of the past for the everyday poor dickhead and college is a hard scam, having you in debt till 35+ if you want to gamble on it getting you to the middle class.
The only way you can go to achieve success is in the industry sector, and even then, some industry jobs are fucking scams themselves.
As a trucker you will effectively work 2 full time jobs for 46K a year and back in the 1970s it was 80k adjusted for inflation.
Shit has just been catching fire since 1971 and the middle class is bleeding oceans.
People who don't have the "gift" of being smart will be poor and will work till the day they die at age 85.
Imagine going to work at fucking 80.
The future is gay and i'll kill myself before 60.
Earth gay.

My NEET time might be running out soon and I feel regret over wasting it so much doing literally nothing instead of watching a lot of movies/tv shows, read books and play different video games and practice some hobby. My thought is that by getting through all the best media while I had endless free time I would not miss much once having a job with no time. Especially since I personally dislike most of the new stuff.

Do you think it would actually make a difference?

>>278074
>thinking he'll last until age 60
You're an optimist, aren't you? Life expectancy is going down, not up.

Should I become a prison guard/correctional officer?

>>278084
There's a long road of psychological tests, evaluations, and hardening procedures that may break you. It takes a highly socialized man to stand with authority over an army of dissidents who would have your throat for sport with nothing to lose but dinner for the night. There is no perk or pay beyond what is offered by a mall security position.

Start small, and if you're not satisfied with the ease and safety of a stroll through a dark empty park, then apply for the combat duty that is prison security.

>>271479
I feel like God would be disappointed in me if I killed myself. There's a part of me that believes I'd have to live my life over again so I could "learn my lesson" if I check out early. I want to die. Life is too much of a burden for me.

>>276926
You’re a total moron , please go back to wherever you come from.

>>276954
Imagine calling someone "moron" and being so poorly judged that you let succubi and the rest of society in general humiliate you and disrespect you just for something superficial.

>>273130
I'm not even him but you're a fucking retard. There's a reason why humanity concoted religions and all kinds of paranormal bullshit to accept death and the precarious nature of human life. It's not bullshit, it is a fact anyhone with some intellectual honesty, which is why you go on an angry vicious tirade when anyone mentions the truth about the human condition.

>>271433
and what did you want him to say? to kill yourself? you're off doing it anyway soon.

>>276317
>Avoid excessive caffeine
That would explain a lot, coffee is all I drink.

Brain fog is not going away. It has been a constant for the last 1-2 years. Have tried dietary changes, with no noticeable change in symptoms. All of my mind feels dampened. ?????

>>277798
Try anything else before you give up.

>>277798
I used to be deeply depressed for years. I recovered and have good diet and exercise now. But I still feel like my brain is damaged from the years of depression. I think it may take many years of slow recovery, with full recovery perhaps impossible

Sleep at least for me has been a major factor
not in getting rid of brainfog but decreasing it. I try sleep 1-1:30 more than usual now

Someone <b>too</b> into scat posted their gifs on crystal.cafe when I was just peacefully scrolling there.

>>275120
Your mom was cool dude, I wish my parents shouted at my bullies like that.

Usually before posting in a thread I read the every post, or if the thread is long, the bottom 20-50 response chains. But I'm not going to read any from this thread because it may trigger my post-traumatic stress, or enrage me at the injustices done to my fellow wizards.

I'll post a less horrific experience: My father, when trying to find out who did something, would ask the nearest one of us (me or one of my older brothers) if we did it, then the second nearest, the the third nearest, then the third nearest. If you denied it, he'd take your word for it unless you were the last one he asked. I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but this meant whoever was the farthest away from him when he found someone broke the rules would be the one to get punished; he would take the first three for their word when they pleaded innocent, but not the fourth and final of us.

>>275094
In high school, I've been on duty once with a badge that had a blue piece of paper with a position name on. One male student (same age, one year senior) were passing by. Instinctively, I took my badge from my pocket and put it on. Even if there were some smug connotations, they were short and non-deliberate. However, he took it away from me and ran away to the toilet. There, he was taking a piss and after my request he turned my way and pissed in my direction (open cabins without doors). I dodged. Other male person on duty was with me, laughing at the situation. The offender walked away. I said to the teacher that my badge got lost, got the another blue paper and gave upon teacher's request one badge to another person without it (for unknown reason). Good that I asked my mother to buy two although she complained why I handed it for free. Needless to say, the offender was a chad, athletically and study-wise superior. Complemented by one teacher as an example. Could've put it on the sink while leaving and it wouldn't hurt his status. But didn't.

>>278054
The idea of wearing badges somehow was retired. Perhaps many lost it or found inconvenient.

Once on duty, someone was running and I was accused of the new curtains falling with a rod to the floor. Others said it wasn't me and the behaviour offender got scolded. My and his scolding was fierce and inadequate as curtains were light and the rod looked to be plastic and not sheer or anything. Upon reflection afterwards, it seems like me pressing on the wall with the curtain in between pulled it down. Just within a day, there were at least 3 such episodes and the new curtains were retired as putting them each time with a big ladder was troublesome.

Life is all about making the best of what you have no matter how shit it is to other people.
I've come to realize this after years, that it requires a level of delusion in order to actually achieve any type of happiness that isn't overshadowed by the reality of your situation in comparison to other people.
Feel sad? Act happy, but don't just act happy, imagine in your head that you're actually better off doing what you are doing now, living the way you are living now, and try to get happiness from it. It takes mental strain and not everyone is able to do this, but if you can inject a type of childish imagination into your life then suddenly everything becomes bearable. Real life, achievements, none of that stuff matters if you're not on the right state of mind, I see and hear of people that should have been doing much better than me but they are unsatisfied and unhappy. I've not ever achieved anything, I don't own anything, every time I try to improve myself and be happy it all ends bad, I've come to realize that I need to imagine things in my head so I can go on and be happy, because if I were to actually think of life the way it really is, that I'd never in my entire life be happy. I experience things, and they don't go the way I want them to, but in my head I imagine things as if they had been perfect, and that thought to me is so appealing that I spend more time and effort thinking that these things aren't just part of my imagination, but reality. I've given up on life, I just want to be happy and it takes delusion to actually be happy, but if it's what it takes, then I'm there, bro.

>>277898
The theory is easy, the hard part is putting it into practice. The solution to your problem is to accept yourself, to accept that you have pimples, to accept that you don't meet beauty standards, and that if you ever disgrace wizards, then your only girlfriends will be ugly too.
Nobody wants to be with an insecure person, nobody is going to treat an insecure person well, people will always take advantage of you. Your real problem is not that you're ugly, your real problem is that you're insecure. Once you improve your self-confidence, you will be able to look people in the eye, you will be able to speak in a proper way, and you will be able to relate like a good man.

>>277908
Hygiene helps to be self-confident, makes you feel good and productive.

>>278040
You are wrong my friend. If you are sad, cry, express your feelings, write your feelings in a journal, or in an internet thread, do not repress what you feel, or deceive yourself in a cruel way. You have to accept reality, realize how bad you live, and how bad you are as a person, in order to want to change, and be the best version of yourself.
Your feelings are important, you are an important person. Even if you don't believe it, someone cares about you, you may not always get along with that person, you may sometimes hate them, or feel bad for them, but deep down, you yourself will always be there for you.

>>277654
He's not a fag in the sense that he likes a guy sticking a piece of meat up his ass, he's a fag for not wanting to accept reality, for giving up.

Highly likely fibromyalgia non-stop for the last 7 years. I don't even think the water under the bridges in my city is deep enough. Plus patrol and bystanders everywhere. Scary when balls sometimes hurt and nutting feels stronger than usual (fapping). As if the pressure is on prostate. The vomit feeling I've been having for 5 years before 2016 only intensified since. Had 165 high blood pressure episode outside about 2 years ago for the second time under the same circumstances. One day after parents threatened to get me a job. Nearly passed out but luckily was not far away from home. First time was accused of simulating and causing it advertently to remain NEET despite difficulties to do it and all measurements. Second time wasn't accused. Either he remembered his rant was ineffective and absurd the last time or he didn't. Cause he forgets many things.

>>274241
just spent another hour suffering alone on the toilet bowl
and it's not over yet, i'll spend the evening going in and out of the toilet

don't forget guys, life is a gift!

>>277902
Kasodani Kyouko Touhou Project 13 Ten Desires smiling blushing shouting smug face map of Ohio, USA

>>274241
chronic pain, physical chronic pain is the number one worst thing a person can have. all other issues can't even happen without you first being healthy. I was born with a congenital case of lumbar spinal stenosis. my grandma's friend is a surgeon and he looked at my MRI's and said it looked like the back of a 93 year old man and the worst case he's ever seen. my family just spat on me saying its because i was lazy, fucking retards thats not how it works. ironically both my dad and my brother got back issues and their advice all failed them. I was 19 OP, and i could not sit longer than a minute without having to lay down. i lost 30 pounds in a month from not eating. it was hell. it was so bad. but thankfully. for me there was hope. a minimally invasive back surgery, a laminectomy (where they just cut off the part of the bone thats compressing the nerves) took all the pain away and i was better than ever after it, but it left me with a lot of sympathy for chronic pain patients.

>>275557
This sounds like a symptom I got after coming off meds.
It's lasted for several years though it has gotten better.
I'd suggest trying antihistamines.
I actually switched to a very restrictive low histamine diet for a while so I could tolerate the feelings.

Cut my hand again from slamming my mouse after going on a long losing streak. Every game just felt unwinnable.

I just hate how I can't even find satisfaction in video games. I just lose lose and lose. But instead of realizing that I am having a bad time playing these online games and instead taking a break to play some cozy singleplayer games like Zelda or build some Lego I keep slamming my head against the wall (metaphorically) and just getting more and more frustrated.

You might say "go to therapy" but the thing is I don't get this mad at anything else ever. I don't get mad at singleplayer games or anything in real life.

>>277968
what game are you playing

>>277968
You clearly want to be playing single-player games, so go do that next time you get the urge to play games. Don't even log on to a multiplayer game.

WELL IT FINALLY HAPPENED

I smashed my desk and hit my mouse which sent it flying and broke it.

And my hand hurts. I hope it's just a scratch.

And I thought that after hurting my hand yesterday I have finally learned that getting mad at video games was dumb. I just hate randomness so much. GOD THAT WAS SO STUPID AND UNNECESSARY. I guess now I am forced to take a break from the computer. The physical stores only sell dogshit mice I refuse to buy so I will have to buy internationally which will take like a week to arrive.

>>277980
Multiplayer games with high skill or intelligence required elements are good for high IQ wizards because they can attain the top ranks and rewards with relative ease.
Multiplayer games are hell for average or low IQ wizards like me who are doomed to always be in the Bronze-Silver divisions of any game because we were born with low dexterity and intelligence.

And no, not everyone can get good at games like Mobas just by training a lot.
There's lots of high IQ Koreans in these games who have logged 400 hours into the game but already reached Grand Master and can wipe the floor with me.

Then there's me who logged 16,000 hours and is still in the second lowest rank because I don't comprehend large complex structures and situations as well as a more intelligent person.

Single player is the way to go for me.
Let's not even get into FPS games, where the top divisions like Global Eagle in CS:GO requires you to have top 0,01% percentile reaction times on the planet, you also need the spatial skills and intelligence mentioned above to constantly simulate the real time situation in your head to avoid being sniped.

cliquers OUT