"The problem is with you, anon"After being rejected overwhelmingly in several situation thru life, I cannot still understand the real motive, and thinking objectively cannot reach any other conclusion than it being due how stupid normals are. I usted to feel a shame that got vanished thru years yet I feel still that some of it remains in the deep zones of my mind… The toxic idea of "the problem being yours, anon" brought by peer pressure only gets you wrecked while normgroids are just being psychotically mean. Like pulling through my mind an idea like a stab, as if attempting to make me even more miserable while the numbers against me are an undeniable proof of me being… whatever I be, which they see and I don't. Blaming me for their malignity, for the sake of killing my already lowered spirit.
Fapped to oblivion - help?This situation causes me a lot of depression. Wonder if anyone here has experienced the same and can help.
Reasons to liveI don't have positive reasons to live. I only have negative reasons to live, that is reasons only to avoid things. The negative reasons are that I'd make my parents miserable if I offed myself, and that I'd possibly end up in hell or some similar shit place in the afterlife if there is an afterlife and a hell or similar. I don't pretend to know with confidence if there is or isn't an afterlife, but I've spent enough time on philosophy, religious studies, and afterlife research (such as it is) to know that the possibility hasn't been ruled out by any means.
shouting into the void wondering if anyone relatesTo start with, I hate everyone, and I hate everything excluding fictional characters and fictional settings.
day in the life of a wizardwhats your days like? my days are starting to blend into nothingness so i wonder what everyone elses are like
Pessimism as a sign of high vitalityDo you think Nietzsche was right about this? I think there may be something to it. Normals are so fragile, especially succubi, they refuse to even consider bad scenarios and how horrible existence can be at times. It takes courage to contemplate negative thoughts and emotions. Pessimism is a sign of high vitality, of a brave spirit, of an ascetic soul who doesn't think feeling good all the time is necessarily desirable.
Back on suicideI am extremely angry. I had a psychiatric crisis in april, two weeks hospitalized. It took me a fuckton of harships to reach my current semi-stable state. I don't rely on parents for money or food.
Natural born passivness and lack of assertivness?I turned 28 years old this year. And feels hit me.
Regrets over wasting life on useless Ch*mistry degree or any useless degree for that matterI wish I studied STEM or IT instead, There's simply no jobs anymore for chemists out there. Take a look around, most people that call themselves 'chemists' haven't been able to hold on to a job for longer than 5-8 years. In fact, I bet most of the people I run into in the chemical industry have had 3, 4, or more jobs within the past decade. How can one ever expect to buy a house or be able to save for health insurance with that kind of job insecurity? The only thing this worthless degree in chemistry has gotten me are permatemp jobs with no benefits for $18/hr. I regret every single day of my life wasting time and money on this worthless chemistry degree. At this rate, it'll only take me the next 25 years between temp job after temp job to payoff all these student loans. I've done job search after job search and the only jobs out there are for A.)temps and B.) terribly mundane, boring, and low paying QC or method development work. There's a reason why there are so many listings for quality control/analysis/method development work–it's because people hate doing it and quit not long after starting which forces companies to constantly rehire.
Anyone else have family like this?>Family insults me for eating too much
Parents put me back on track to suicideI am severely mentally ill. This is painful to write.
Overcoming the mental barrier for suicideI know it's finally time to kill myself and there's nothing else for me to do, my only problem is whenever I wanna try it (By jumping in front of a train) my body kinda shuts down and makes me unable to move, my heart beats goes through the roof, I get extremely stressed out and I sweat and shake like crazy.
I locked my savings in ChainlinkAnyone else fucked themselves over into bagholding for at least a few years by spending their savings on crypto? I spent over $2500 total since Dec 2020 with shit return so far, wish I sold in May/December 2021 everyday. I've made myself a poorfag, and now everything costs at least 10% more too, so I can't even fucking cope with a new GPU or something.
a genuine last-ditch attempt to liveFollowing a series of bad decisions and consequently a myriad of losses, and perpetual rejection from peers, excluding delusive contentment my existence can no longer be justified. The vast majority of the problems I face are circular, and likely the result of innate negative characteristics, but as can be deduced from the title, I'm typing this with minimal expectations.
What does your family have to say about your depression?My mother has always passive aggressively asked me if i needed a therapist or if i was depressed during arguments but recently my whole family has been getting more outspoken. I know that my family has always talked about my depression behind my back. My family was having a little party yesterday and i opted to stay inside and scroll wizchan, my sister walks in and asks me if im depressed, my response "i dont know", I went outside later, my sister had obviously told them what happened because my family was trying to tiptoe around the subject of depression and self improvement stuff. I have recently been given an opportunity to leave the house for the first time and roommate with an old friend, so today my mom tells me that she told my sisters about how i was thinking about moving and they said that its not a good idea for me to be away from family knowing that im depressed and emotionally unstable even though the main source of my depression right now derives from rotting in my familys attic. it makes me feel guilty and pathetic having my family worry about me but at least i know they have good intentions.
Finding a job seems hopelessI see the /wage/wizzies, and the college grads on this board, and I feel absolutely useless. I've always wanted to work a nightshift security job, but the good ones are all hundreds of miles away from me. Janitorial seems decent, so I'll look at job offers online-
Living in front of the highway is/can be hellish.Noise pollution is Driving Me CRAZY
I'm 25 Years Old And I Have No Friends (Living With Social Anxiety)I'm curious as to what your thoughts are about this type of content:
severe anxiety and amygdalaWould any neurologist/neurosurgeon consider this a valid approach and accept a patient's wishes to remove or destroy part of the amygdala, for serious cases of fear phobia ?.µ
Mom triggered me on purposeI am 28. My mom is 30 years older. I am severely mentally ill, my mom is mentally ill too but not to my extent. She's incredibly manipulative and I keep her away as much as possible.
Life sucks then you dieI know it is not a wizardy thing to vent but you know, Everyone goes through some hardest times and words can't express my feelings right now you know all my life have been eat sleep watch anime, drinking tons of caffeine, play vidya games then repeat , got a useless degree can't work a proper job due to lack of connections mental health conditions, only garbage shitty jobs left which well not make you go anywhere in life, I just go back in time to find out if there is a good memory left but there isn't all cringe and disgrace, don't have money to even get out of fucking country or start new shit, dam it god i need a 2nd chance this life doesn't count it sucks from all aspects probably i am going to hell anyways, the only time i feel good when i am daydreaming being rich or some kind hero in movies or animes i know sounds pathetic. some destined for greatness others the earth spins around the sun and fucks them.
I was "that kid".When I was a kid I would purposely puncture my lips with a stapler to get the most attention from my class, to the point that I permanently scared my upper lip. I'd also tap my feet for hours annoying everyone in the room and causing kids to beat me. Pissing people off made me feel happy and I was that desperate to be noticed.
I'm so fucking frustrated that I can't kill myselfTitle. I'll try to explain without referring to my personal life.
Building a zipgun/shotgunI live in a country where firearms aren't easily accessible and I was wondering if building my own would be a reliable method. But I don't know shit about weapon building.
Have you made plans for your suicide yet?I have always been certain that I am a future suicide statistic. If I reach the life expectancy I will have almost 60 years left, and I think that is way too much. I don't want to keep living in this world of unbearable suffering if I can find peace in death.
Psycho parentsNeed to get my parents booked into therapy or something, these psychotic cunts get into full fucking screaming matches over the smallest most retarded fucking things that any sane human being could resolve by just talking and being patient with each other. It's gotten worse and worse since my older sister moved out, she's the only one they occasionally would listen to and respect as an adult. I'm 20 years old and pay a portion of their fucking bills out of my own pocket but they still consider me a child and never listen to anything I say, so I can't stop them from being at each other's throats all the fucking time.
GodFew things distress me as much as being uncertain about the existence of God. If something like God (an omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent person who created the universe) exists I need to know everything I can about that being, I don't think there is a more serious issue than that. I've always been a wretch with suicidal tendencies and I've been hospitalized several times in psychiatric hospitals, drugs are not very effective and living never seemed to be worth it, I just want to die. However, if the God of any of these Abrahamic religions exists, I could end up in hell if I kill myself, my suffering would just be multiplied infinitely. Even though I have read extensively on this topic from both a philosophical and a scientific point of view, I still find myself with agnostic and atheistic tendencies. There's always the possibility that I'm an idiot who can't properly analyze the evidence, my mind has been a little numb from some medications I take. Every day that goes by without me getting an answer just makes me more anxious, but maybe it's all bullshit and I shouldn't care so much, but it's not something I can control. All I want, in the end, is to get off the face of this planet and not end up in an even worse place, but this is a relatively risky move. I would like to know how the other wizards deal with this question: do you even care about this? what are your conclusions?
"Healthy" lifestyleHey I know no one is asking me for advice and I know some of you will be offended by this.
Been having the most productive time of my lifeCoincidentally, my stance on "belonging" to society has radically changed.
Suicide: From fantasy to realityIt's been clear for many years that I should kill myself. It's very dumb that I haven't already done so. What I have to look forward to:
Any other onahole copers?I got my first sex toy at about 16 years old. I’ve never seen the point of simpng when I can literally buy clean pussy I can use whenever I want. The only thing I lack in life is infancy since I can’t buy a dog at my shit apartment. My few efriends are flakey as fuck. The few onahole groups around are all filled with raging homosexuals who are themselves holes and drink their own cum out of their toys unfortunately. Sucks not having anyone to talk pussy collecting with, that aren’t expecting you to jerk off with them.
circumsizedI cant jerk off. my cock feels nothing. no frenulum left, not even remanent. cut tight, my dick points to the left because skin is so tight. glans is dry all the time. my fetish is foreskin and phimosis hentai now because I want foreskin so much especially when its erect and the foreskin cover the glan then the bitch lick it to uncover the glans. no rigid band, no gliding sensation. I will have to resort to anal to feel good when masterbating now so I guess im gay until my foreskin grows back.
Anyone else escape being a neet only to find a worse life?I was 25 when I got my first job, it’s the job I still have a few months from 29. I have more onaholes than your average American sex shop and they keep me pretty content,I have a vr headset and a lifetime subscription to SexLikeReal.com and don’t want a succubus in my life. I wouldn’t mind more friends who aren’t generic normalfaggot clout chasers. If I’m not working I’m in my shitty apartment which I hate. I have about 10k saved up and I just am ready to crawl back into my shell. I got two guns if I ever wanted to end it all which I often do but I refuse to give those that are waiting for my death the satisfaction. I lost one of the best friends I’ve ever had a year ago which I only know because I found the obituary online and I don’t even know what happened. I’ve been considering just pulling a forest gump and walking around the country. I figure $10k would last a lot longer if I had only my phone bill and food to worry about. I’m tired of society have been since the day I was born. A year of mint mobile unlimited is only $360 and would get me pretty far. I felt like a burden as a neet and somehow having a job,credit cards, and my own apartment hasn’t made me feel any more secure that I am a self sufficient adult. I have 2 cars but no driver’s license since I failed the test with both my attempts. Thinking of getting an ebike I know some can take me as far as 100 miles on 1 charge. Anyone else feel like just finding a cave to live in an becoming a real hermit?
Post death fearThe only thing that keeps me away from commiting suicide is fear of hell/reincarnation/whatever the shit. I've been brainwashed heavily with religion and being exposed to so many religious and new age stuff that despite being consciously atheist my subconscious still behaves in a religious way
why am I not allowed to post Pepes?21y old here. Missing being able to be alone and playing minecraft capture the flag all day without craving any social interaction. Now feeling like Ill turn into an attention whore. Why is this happening to me? Is it the demonic meds or is this normal with age? Atleast I dont crave succubi but Im feeling very lonely right now. I want friends who can understand me but Im a schizophrenic quiet weirdo with no social skills.
last-ditch attempt to liveIm going to do everything within my power to not coom (no fap,no wet dreams,no nothing)for 180 days. I want to realize the absolute peak of male human life and see if,then, I still want to die. I honestly dont know what i will think -then- but I -now- speculate about the "me of the future";180 days in the future,to be most precise.
Feeling scaredMy mental illness has been deteriorating at new levels. I reached a period of "newfound" stability some months ago.
SchoolI can't believe I had to endure 12 years of this absolute drudgery and idiotic shit.
Does anyone else feel that they are just an observer of their own lives?It seems to me that crucial factors that make up our first-person experience have been shaped by events completely out of our control, such as our genes or the environment in which we grew up. Maybe the only thing that counts in life is luck, I didn't ask to be born in a third world country with low intelligence, migraines that make my life hell or depression that seems incurable. Not to mention the annoying normgroids I have to live with on a daily basis. I really hope that there is no afterlife of any kind, or, if there is, that we can at least choose under what conditions to be born. Maybe some blame can be placed on me, but who cares? what am I but a mind causally dependent on a brain that is subject to the same physical laws as everything else in the fucking universe?
RantI am feeling extremely depressed. I'm coming down from a cycle of elevated mood in general. The sharp shift is confusing and painful. I am mentally ill, delving on details is needless.
overcoming/halting depression with physical/health improvements?just asking if anyone here ever did get better or feel better (at least for awhile) with the help of improvements from better living conditions, better health (better eating,sleeping,exercising etc…) and so on?
the end of privacy and secrecyI feel the world has no secrets left,,due to social media, mainly. The roughest slum in this or that country?well, a youtuber went there.
Can't fit with anyone - always rejected by humansIn my life there has been a constant pattern about socialization. It always goes that way:
How do I cope with lonelinessI feel extremely depressed, im 19 and I have been dealing with my ocd that causes me to feel suicidal. It has improved but I still feel this hollow feeling and it wont go away, I don't know what to do. I've been playing dark souls but it isnt helping as much. I really wish there was a way to stop feeling this painful loneliness. My body and mind is punishing me, I hate being forced to live. Im too much of a pussy to kill myself. I dont know what to do.